


Accidents Don't Just Happen Accidentally

by Janie94



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Commercial Shoot, M/M, Payback, Robert Is Satan, Semi-public kissing, Łukasz as the Awkward Third Wheel, Łukasz is a little shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-09-22 16:44:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9616457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Janie94/pseuds/Janie94
Summary: That one time Robert and Jakub wanted to pay Łukasz back for being a little shit by making him die from second-hand embarrassment but then ended up almost having sex in the car...





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Night](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/gifts), [mariothellama](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariothellama/gifts).



> I have no idea what it is with me lately writing Robert/Kuba, but I just can't stop. I was plotting for one of my other stories and then I got distracted, just like always. ;)  
> The title of this story is a line from the TV show 'Supernatural' and I found it rather fitting, not just for this story but also for all these unexpected stories that have come to me recently.
> 
> Here is the link to the 'Making of' of the mentioned commercial (from 2013) that inspired me for this one here, just in case somebody wants to know where the idea has come from:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHFuYgEC7Bw
> 
> Dear Blue_Night, dear mariothellama,  
> I'm already waiting for you two to fall onto your knees and beg me to stop writing these two. ;)

 

 

**Accidents Don't Just Happen Accidentally**

 

If you asked Robert about it later, he has no idea what has got into him on that day.

The morning had started without any incidence and the only thing he was supposed to do was shoot a commercial with Łukasz and Jakub and somehow the day had ended in absolute 'disaster'. At least for poor Łukasz. And Jakub's and Robert's public image. But to be honest, when he turns to the other side of the bed, he could care less...

 

***

 

_Fourteen hours previously_

 

Of course the shoot wouldn't go smoothly, that much Robert knew the moment he saw that Łukasz and Jakub would also be part of it. There would be a lot of goofing around, that much is obvious and his suspicion turns out to be right.

The location is an underground garage which is very fitting as they are shooting for Opel, one of Borussia Dortmund's sponsors.

The instructions have been fairly easy and they make it through the first part in the recreated fake locker room in record time, prompting Robert to think that perhaps he has just been too pessimistic this morning.

But then the second part of the commercial comes and that's when things get out of hand. Once again there is nothing complicated about what the director is demanding from them, just Jakub and Łukasz sitting in the front of the car and the former having to close the driver's door while Robert is jogging towards them.

See? Easy.

The first three times are actually not that bad yet the director wants more angles, so they do it again and again. That's when things start to go downhill. Łukasz just can't stop giggling and Jakub isn't off much better whenever he takes a glance at the man to his right. He manages not to burst out laughing when he is supposed to shut the door before Robert could reach it, but he still can't completely mask the amused grin. And by the end of the tenth take Robert can't stop smiling either after being exposed to Łukasz's and Jakub's teary-eyed laughter for so long.

When it becomes apparent that they won't manage to get even one more take right, the very annoyed director orders a twenty minute break for the whole team, perhaps hoping that these crazy Poles will manage to get themselves back under control in the meantime.

Jakub has kicked his friend out of the car rather ungraciously as there was no way he would be able to stop grinning as long as the other man is continuing to giggle beside him. Robert has taken Łukasz's place, rubbing his hands to warm his fingers that are numb from the cold when Jakub declares, “I will pay him back for this, I swear to God.”

Robert follows his gaze and they both watch Łukasz talking to one of the camera men – or women in this case.

“Well, it would be a rather boring shoot if it weren't for him constantly messing up the takes,” Robert points out after a moment.

Jakub snorts. “This whole commercial is kind of silly and unimaginative actually. It's just Łukasz and me playing a prank on you, nothing more.”

“So it's just like real life,” Robert retorts before he can stop himself. When Jakub turns towards him, he continues. “I mean you two have been messing up all takes in the last half an hour while I was standing there in the freezing cold.”

Jakub raises an eyebrow at him. “I'm sorry, princess, but it's not our fault that you are so delicate.”

“It's fucking winter!” Robert shoots back with narrowed eyes.

“Then ask them for a warmer jacket.”

They both look at each other for a moment longer, trying to stare each other down. Eventually Jakub's expressions softens and his lips curl into a grin while he is shaking his head. “I can't believe we're fighting over your clothes.”

Robert only shrugs, but he is smiling as well as he turns to look down at his red fingers.

“You really are feeling cold, aren't you?” Jakub asks eventually.

“No, of course not,” Robert replies sarcastically. “It only has double-digit sub-zero temperatures out there, even down here, so why would I be feeling cold?”

Jakub rolls his eyes yet he reaches over and takes Robert's hands between his own. Robert tenses at the warmth seeping into his skin and the pain of his numb fingers coming back to life. “Thank you.”

“You really are cold,” Jakub says in a surprised tone as though he didn't believe the younger man until now.

Robert keeps his snappy reply to himself and takes a look around, spotting his black quilted jacket on the backseat. “Do you think they will mind if I swap jackets until we get back to shooting?”

“No, they are too enthralled by this idiot anyway.”

A brief look through the windshield tells Robert that Jakub is indeed talking about Łukasz who is chatting with the director now, apparently trying to give him a bit of advice. Which Robert can totally understand, the commercial can't get any more pathetic anyway.

Without another word he gets out of his thin training jacket, throwing it into the back before reaching for the other one right next to it. Just when he has grabbed it though, there's someone knocking at Jakub's window and when they both turn towards there is Łukasz standing there, waving for them to exit the car.

Robert groans as he obeys, goosebumps appearing on his arms as he is now rounding the car with his short-sleeved yellow shirt only.  
“I will pay him back for this,” he grumbles Jakub's earlier words just loud enough for the two other men to hear. Łukasz's smug smile only widens as he pushes Jakub gently towards the other side of the car. “Onto the passenger seat with you, Kuba,” he orders. “And you, Lewy, get into the back again. This guy finally allowed me to do some actual driving for this stupid commercial.”

“Why are you the one who gets to drive?” Jakub asks in a sulking tone that makes him sound like a five year old boy rather than the grown up man he actually is.

“Because it was my idea,” is all Łukasz replies before getting into the driver's seat and pointedly shutting the door in Jakub's face.

The latter remains standing there with a dark scowl while Robert moves to get into the back.

“Remind me again why I consider him my friend?” he murmurs and the younger man chuckles at his grim expression.

“We will get him back for it one day,” Robert promises and pats Jakub's shoulder to finally get back into the car, but suddenly the other man grabs his arm to stop him.

“Today,” Jakub says as his eyes settle on Robert's challengingly.

Robert frowns, confused by the strange glint in Jakub's eyes as much as the word he uttered. “Today? But how do you want to make him pay for being a little shit when we are stuck in that stupid car until the shoot is over?”

Jakub's bites his bottom lip nervously. “Well, you just said it. We are stuck in that car with him, so it's not like he can avoid us, right?” He swallows and the insecurity looks totally out of place on him. “I was thinking of you and I dirty talking and well, a kiss maybe? Preferably a rather noisy one, so he knows what we're doing even when he's covering his eyes?”

Robert stares at Jakub with wide eyes, wondering if he understood him right. “You expect me to make a show for you?”

Jakub tenses and the nervous smile vanishes, annoyance radiating from him instead. “If the princess feels she is above that, then fine, just forget I said anything.” He drops his hand from Robert's arm as though he has been burnt, shooting him another dark scowl before he rounds the car to get into the passenger's seat.

Robert shakes his head as he realizes that Jakub interpreted his question – which he only asked to make sure he understood the request right - as him not wanting to do this. Which is so not the case.

It may be crazy and totally over the top, but the thought of Łukasz turning as red as a tomato while Jakub and Robert are throwing lewd remarks at each other is very tempting indeed. The only risk is that Łukasz could find it funny rather than embarrassing, something that just won't do it. More drastic means are required to make Łukasz Piszczek blush, that's for sure...

He gets into the backseat and takes one last glance around to make sure everybody else is still busy with setting up the camera just right and adjusting the lights.

Then he takes a deep breath to collect himself, shoving away his insecurities and looking at the side of Jakub's face he can see from his position.

“Kuba, I want you.” Both men jump, their heads turning to him with equally shocked expression, but Robert stays focused on Jakub, watching his lips curl into a pleased smile as he realizes that Robert is playing along.

“Now?” Jakub asks with raised eyebrows, clearly expecting a suggestive answer in return.

But Robert won't risk Łukasz enjoying this, after all this here is meant to be payback.

He leans forward until he is barely sitting anymore, his arms supporting his weight as he comes so close to Jakub's face that he can feel his breath on his lips. “I want to kiss you so badly.”

The older man shudders under his intense glance, clearly thrown off by the speed Robert is going, but then he grins. “Then do it.”

“Guys?” Łukasz asks from beside them, sounding as though he doesn't know whether to be amused or scared. “What's going on?”

Robert smiles before leaning forward and capturing Jakub's lips with his own. They are dry and slightly chapped from the cold outside, but just soft enough to make Robert want more. He opens his mouth, the tip of his tongue asking for permission that the other man grants after a short moment of hesitation.

“Alright, very funny, can you please stop now?” Łukasz's voice comes from the side, but both men barely register it.

Instead Jakub finally becomes bolder, one of his hands coming up to the side of Robert's neck as though to hold him in place while his tongue explores Robert's mouth curiously. Robert lets out a muffled groan and he can feel himself slowly getting aroused.

“Keep it down, Lewy, will you?” Łukasz begs and he sounds as though is short from panicking.

Robert's only response is to grab Jakub by the front of his shirt and pull him onto the backseat wit him without breaking the kiss once.

“Are you guys out of your mind?” Łukasz's shrill voice comes from somewhere above his head, but Robert is too busy helping the man that is straddling him to get out of his already open jacket. When his lungs eventually run out of air, he finally breaks away from Jakub's lips but only to move to the side, feeling the older man's stubble against his lips as he places kisses along the defined jawline.

Jakub lets out a pleased sound at that and Robert smirks at feeling the evidence of his erection pressing against his hip.

He grabs Jakub by his shoulders and manages to turn them around despite the narrow space, his right hand sliding under the waistband of the other man's jeans and his underwear.

“Fuck, Lewy,” Jakub whispers almost shocked as Robert's fingers close around his cock.

“Later, Kuba,” he promises with a satisfied smile before starting to stroke Jakub as best as he can when they are both still fully dressed.

“No, please stop, my poor eyes!” Łukasz complains and Robert can hear him covering his face with his hands.

Robert obeys and retreats his hand, but only to take off his own shirt, feeling Jakub's lustful gaze on him as he watches the man above him hungrily while hurrying to do the same, getting out of the annoying fabric. Robert is all too happy to help him and when they are done, he sits back on his heels, letting his eyes rake over Jakub's well-toned body, until he reaches his face.

“Tell me, Kuba, when was the last time you had a decent blowjob?”

“Too long,” Jakub replies in a husky voice before his eyes darken with desire.

Robert ignores the pained mewl from the front of the car and leans down to place a kiss in the middle of the older man's chest, the gentle touch making Jakub gasp while Robert opens his mouth and begins to lick a wet stripe down Jakub's stomach, stopping briefly at the navel to tease it with a swirl of his tongue.

When he gets rewarded with a strangled moan, he continues his path down south, stopping only when he has reached Jakub's groin, eying the huge bulge straining towards him with interest.

“I've been wanting to get a taste of you for a while now, Kuba,” he whispers and is surprised to find out that it is the truth. He wants to give Jakub the best blowjob he has ever received. And not only that... “I want to fuck you so hard that you will scream my name.”

Jakub groans at the image. “Stop torturing me and finally get on with it.”

Robert raises an eyebrow. “Here in public when everybody's watching and the cameras are rolling?”

Jakub freezes and finally straightens a bit to take a look around, noticing only then what Robert has been aware of for a while. The whole team is staring at them in stunned silence, the director grinning from ear to ear while motioning for one of the camera women to adjust the angle.

Jakub pales. “Please don't tell me they have all of this on tape.”

Łukasz snorts though it sounds more like a dying whale and Robert has to bite his lip to keep himself from laughing when he sees the look of misery on his dark red face.  
“Of course they do. It was hard not to miss what the two of you were doing.” He covers his face with his hands again while Robert gets out of the car, Jakub following him with his jacket in front of his groin.

Robert leans down to whisper into his ear. “You know that they have already taken note of your arousal, do you?”

“Shut up!” Jakub retorts grimly. “I will make you pay for this and if it is the last thing I will do.”

They are interrupted by the director approaching them with the widest, stupidest grin on his face. “This is the perfect material for the commercial. But why didn't you propose this to me beforehand? This way I missed the start.”

Jakub only manages a strangled sound again while Robert forces a smile back onto his face. “We were just feeling like being spontaneous. But considering our profession it was probably not a good idea anyway. Just make this spot the way you wanted to.”  
The director looks mightily disappointed. “But this is much better. Sex sells, you know?”

“Your version is the better one, believe me” Robert says with a fake smile. “I don't think our club and our managers would be very pleased to find out that you were shooting such a vulgar version for their sponsor.”

The director looks rather puzzled. “But this wasn't my idea.”

“Really?” Robert asks innocently. “Then whose else was it?”

Without waiting for a reply, he turns away and hauls Jakub with him, Łukasz eventually following them even though it is just to escape the awkward situation in the garage.

Jakub chuckles amusedly. “You actually threatened that poor man.”

“I was politely explaining the rather delicate situation with the intention to save him from a compromising situation,” Robert retorts swiftly.

Jakub grins wide before shaking his head. “Fine, but where are you dragging me anyway?

“To my car.”

Jakub stops so sudden that Robert almost loses his balance. “Your _car_?! What for?”

“So we can drive to my place,” Robert tells him, trying to hold back his teasing smile. “After all I promised to give you a blowjob and to fuck you into the sheets, didn't I?”

Jakub stares at him in disbelief for several long seconds while Łukasz comes over to them with the first hint of nervous laugh again. “Okay, Lewy, enough. I learned my lesson, I will never fuck you over again, I promise. Can we leave now?”

It is Jakub though who answers. “You're right, we should leave indeed. My place is closer.”

Łukasz's eyes widening in horror is truly a sight to behold...

**Author's Note:**

> Please comments and/or kudos - any form of feedback is highly appreciated. :)
> 
> If you are yearning to find out what happened and next and how Robert and Kuba got rid of all this sexual 'energy', please read these amazing sequels (in chronological order), they are definitely worth it:
> 
> 'Opportunities (Let's Have Lots of Sex)' by Blue_Night  
> 'Chances (Let's Talk About Love)' by Blue_Night  
> 'Of Handsome Men and Punishments' by eafay70  
> 'Silence (Let's Savor The Pain)' by Blue_Night
> 
> I highly recommend them. :)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Opportunities (Let's Make Lots Of Sex)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9619412) by [Blue_Night](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night)
  * [Chances (Let's Talk About Love)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9658016) by [Blue_Night](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night)
  * [Silence (Let's Savor The Pain)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9944333) by [Blue_Night](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night)




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